?This is not exactly a post that’d give you “professional” insights into goal setting, how to set goals,etc. I didn’t do any study or check any statistics. It’s just some personal work I happen to share…
Tuesday, I took stock of some of the goals I set since the blog relaunch in July 2017.
I’m setting “all round” goals (as in, not just blog related goals) again and I’m really excited about this.
The reason this is a bigger deal for me is because I had given up. My daily, weekly, monthly, yearly goals never really paid off. Honestly. (I must be doing something really wrong right?) Well, something always went wrong. Something always intercepted my hopes and successfully dashed them into pieces. For at least half the years I have already lived, I tried to pick these pieces, rebuild, make something out of it… I tried to keep believing in setting goals, developing plans towards achieving something tangible and finally going through with all but I never did. After a while of seemingly fruitless efforts, I gave up! I gave up trying. I gave up believing I could be productive by setting goals and working through to achieving them. My earnest desire to be better was never enough. I wonder(ed) if I’d ever be enough. Even in Christ, I just wonder at times, if I was going to be enough
Nothing worked. (I haven’t found that Eureka! moment either).
Not so long ago, melancholy depression/chronic depression was my normal but I tell you, God is doing more than leading me away from
shadows of death on actual highroads.
I stayed in this “darkroom” cos trying never seemed good enough; because I was praying and not seeing any results. I couldn’t make good plans and I was failing greatly. Really, what was I (am I) doing so wrongly?
(Isn’t it precious that writing this, the song playing in my ears says “…reaching for dreams I’m scared to touch… God is waiting for me to turn, God is still waiting His turn?)????
I’m talking about goals once more because somehow, I began having expectations again. I began declaring into my week, being intentional about my days and moments.
You know what???!!! I still flopped!!! ????I tried a week of “intentional living”, days of thanksgiving, and I couldn’t make it through. It seemed(s) like each fail was worse than the previous. I had a detox regime which I was able to complete after some 21 days… This time around, it was an impossible task for just three consecutive days ? even though I really needed it. Seems like it was getting worse. I couldn’t put in the efforts I know I needed to in every area of my life. That sucks me dry of so much but I’m grateful for the flicker of hope that remains a lot of times
There’s more in between the lines that one blog post most definitely, can’t contain.
All I’m saying is, I’m grateful that for a moment, I dared to pick up goal setting. For a moment, even though I had a thought that I wouldn’t make it like I never did before, I was excited at the chance I get to get things right. I am excited that every moment I see, could be the moment, could be a better moment. I am hopeful that someday, even though I’ve tried and failed so many times, I would not just get it right, I’d keep growing and getting better.
I feel I’ve done more of mumbo jumbo than made sense yet, I’d continue.
I’m not waiting for the “official” New Year before I map out plans, strategies and begin working. Life is that which is happening now; not that which is yet to come. As I am led to things to work towards or work on, I write them down, sit or act (as the case demands).
I have put quite an amount down and I’d share some with you; especially blog-wise.
The experience of trying and failing, failing when I tried or didn’t, failing at almost everything, teaches me that this heart can break into many pieces yet survive cause indeed, the mind still believes in purpose against all odds…
Whatever you’re going through, don’t throw in the towel just yet. Hold on a little longer.
What’s lost/missing is eventually found…
Photo Credit: Pixabay