I hope to put out more than one post on this topic so stay with me on this.
No matter how much of a soul sister, soul brother or whatever mushy title exists which denotes how dear, close, real, someone is to us and vice versa, we’re all still rough at some edges and being a part of a family, someone else’s life, or a community of friends/humans, should always play a role in smoothening some of those edges.
I wouldn’t say I have gotten it completely right all the time, but my interaction with humans more often than not, reveals a level of neglect and abandon in relationships that lives me broken because of the level of carelessness and misconceptions we’ve allowed to define what relationships should mean.
(I use the term, “relationship” implying any form of association between one individual and another)
I’m learning that even the relationship I have with my mother, father, sister, etc, must be intentional and I most understand that it takes effort to build, and a commitment to maintain. No doubt, they might be people who “just flow” but I know that no matter what, there’s an extent of work to do to maintain happy, fruitful, meaningful, relationships. Meaningful/fruitful because they help us raise better versions of ourselves and spur us to be increasingly efficient and productive with the life we’ve been graciously given.
Today however, we are so quick to dismiss relationships that experience the slightest glitch or not. We use phrases like, “It isn’t not by force”, “I can do my own stuff on my own”, “This person’s character annoys me”, etc, as reasons to walk away from people who could have ended up as our greatest allies.
We miss the opportunity of harnessing or bringing better potentials of others to light and decide that friendships, family, relationships in general are overrated.
As long as we remain on earth and in the community of others, there will ALWAYS be a reason to relate with someone else. So, let’s get it that relationships are here to stay.
We decide what it’s definition would be: Pretentious or genuine, good or bad, parasitic or productive.
It’s a wrong idea to think that because someone isn’t in your “inner cycle”, you have no business in how they live or the choices they make.
It’s a wrong idea to think that because someone isn’t in your “inner cycle”, you have no business in how they live or the choices they make. Click To Tweet
We are responsible for one another. Much of the crisis we face in present times wouldn’t have been as prevalent and enduring if we had taken up the assignment of nurturing relationships and building one another from the “smallest” levels: family-neighbourhood-close circle friendships-work place associations, etc. (I used those examples to give us but an idea).
Unfortunately, the idea of building healthy relationships is fast becoming a process understood more as a waste of time. It’s a lot easier for people to spend 30 minutes at a diner, 2, 3 hours talking about the terrible character of others rather than having a reality check on their lives and their own relationships. It’s way more pleasurable scrolling through social media and wishing for friends who’ll take #friendshipgoals or #mymommybestie photos with us than sitting with your friend, associate, mom, dad, etc, and asking how both parties can be relevant to each other and spur yourselves to growth.
Don’t be in a hurry to use the #friendshipgoals, #bff #partnerforlife, #rideordie, if you haven’t paid the price of working out a relationship you are genuinely proud of.
Don’t be in a hurry to use the #friendshipgoals, #bff #partnerforlife, #rideordie, if you haven’t paid the price of working out a relationship you are genuinely proud of Click To Tweet.
With the pressures of our current time as well as the heightened social media buzz on literarily every issue, you either find yourself too focused on these (the pressures and the buzz) or intimidated by them, that you lose sight of your own lane.
Is someone’s character irking your nerves? Point it out lovingly and patiently. Is someone in the office such a gossip? Don’t leave your workplace and spend your time speaking to your bestie or family member about it without intending to do something about it. Show that work colleague a better way out.
Are you the friend, family member of someone with the annoying classmate? When they lash out to you, very importantly, listen to them carefully but don’t join in bashing the other person or laughing at the person who keeps pronouncing a word terribly wrong. Don’t leave it at pointing accusing fingers. Having listened to them, tell them what they should return to school and implement. Tell them what sort of attitude they should possess which enables them to “deal” with that sort of character in question.
Am I saying we must have our noses up in all of every man’s business? Absolutely not. You’ll wear yourself out to a burden filled life or death even.
I said here that the gift of friends and family is one we must unravel patiently. One we must nurture intentionally because it usually isn’t an already perfected package handed down to us.
I want us to be so conscious of the fact that we have more to do with each other than we’ve (probably) been paying attention to. I hope we can help each other understand that better through the series of “Nurturing Relationships”.I want us to be so conscious of the fact that we have more to do with each other than we’ve (probably) been paying attention to. Click To Tweet
Have you had an initial rough time with someone who is now a good friend or associate? How are you able to work out differences between you and someone else?What length would you go before you give up “working it out” with someone?Are you more of an “I mind my business kind of person” or you address the ‘wrong mindset’, ‘wrong approach’ choice of someone else and how willing/open are you to having your “wrong approach’, ‘wrong mindset’ addressed?
Let’s get talking and bring out better versions of ourselves.